irresponsibilidad juvenil

stop now, I'm getting out.

2009-09-21T19:51:53Z

I'm falling behind. I'm letting things overwhelm me. I know better than this! I'm in charge!

Coffee and homework. Let's fuckin do it.

Things that need conquering: studying, emotions, goals, lifestyle, balance, clarity of mind, this weather.

Something strange has been happening in the past week. I feel foggy. I feel off. I fell off.

whoshottheshot @ 2009-08-04T14:07:00

2009-08-04T19:25:18Z

I'm totally stricken by the bartendress at TANSTAAFL

I played the Old 97's "Victoria" on the jukebox. She knew every word. She talked me up for a while and completely ignored Ryan.

I'm studying math right now. All the old shit that should've been ingrained in my head but wasn't because of our wonderfully functional school system. Well, okay, maybe if I hadn't been too busy getting stoned, skipping class, and otherwise being a little shithead I woulda actually learned something. I'd say the blame can be split 50/50. And I'm really kickin myself for my half in the whole thing.

1/2
0.5
50%

Gotta take the accuplacer (what?! you haven't taken that yet?!). All I have left at TCC are Math and English courses. I'm a master of procrastination.

I'm trying hard to keep the overall goal in mind.

My parents think it's a Degree - which it is.

I'm stuck on the more immediate goal; studying abroad in Ireland.

Was that the proper usage of a semicolon? Oh god I've got a lot of damage to repair.

Are you trying to be this annoying?

2009-07-27T19:35:53Z

You won't find me in a state of confliction, I'm a man on the rise. This forward momentum cannot be stopped. It would not be wise to stand in my way!

Get there!

You done did it!

Bonafide.

Bedtime for mediocrity.

my heart is like a landfill, all fulla shit

2009-05-27T20:46:24Z

I've got questions I can't ask and a fine line to walk.

So I blunder around obnoxiously like I always do. Feelin my way in the dark, knockin shit over, apologizing as shit keeps breaking. Bull in a goddamn china shop! Gotta get the fuck outta this mess! You break it, you buy it, right? Yeah i'm a little clumsy, but my heart is in the right place.

I remember going to the mall with my mom when I was little, and before we'd enter certain stores she'd tell me to keep my hands in my pockets because everything was breakable. I never once broke anything. I was perfectly happy just looking.

What happened?!

I've got a lot to talk about. My recent travels and such. I'll sit down sometime soon and type it all out...maybe after our panhandle outing!

After Amarillo and Lubbock I suppose the next big adventure will be our move to Fort Worth. Bummer. I fucking hate moving, but I do like Fort Worth a lot.

I've got prairie-burnt eyes and I refuse to be marginalized!

Discretion Grove

2009-05-06T05:59:07Z

Super productive day!

Well, for me anyways.

I managed to stay awake during Art Appreciation. I studied a lot for my Geology II final and I'm pretty sure I made an A on it. I cleaned out my car. I worked. Right now I'm ripping CD's and organizing my mp3's.

We've got a campsite booked at Lost Maples for next weekend - I'm pretty excited about that. I'm excited about the whole weekend in Austin in general! It'll probably make me want to live there again. But, for some (really good) reason, my heart belongs to Tarrant County...

Shit rules! Lots of shows comin up! Me and Ryan are gonna practice I swear!

whoshottheshot @ 2009-05-03T03:25:00

2009-05-03T08:31:59Z

I'm proud to come from such a strong bloodline. My immediate family would do anything for each other. And though we're not always as close as we should be, my extended family is pretty much on the same page. I take this notion and apply it to my perceived family - my close friends - the ones that I have chosen to be my kin. This is critical, and no matter how nonreciprocal the concept may be, it is very very important that I don't deviate from the practice.

Bookmark this page!

escape route

2009-04-26T19:55:18Z

I spent my paycheck in two days, I don't even care. It was totally worth it. I dig self-indulgence. Let's see how long I can make the remaining $18 last, okay?

Harsh times, good times...everything is so up and down. I'll chalk it up to getting what I deserve. Everything can be so simple if I just let it, but I tend to over complicate so that I can have more to analyze and get paranoid about.

I really want to be psychoanalyzed! The do-it-yourself take home kit just ain't workin. As seen on TV? Yeah, right.

I killed a twelve pack just to watch it die.

I quit/got fired from the car warsh, which is uplifting in it's own, special way. I will miss certain aspects of working a slacker job. I'll miss those anti-bragging rights I got from it. I won't miss most of the rest though.

I'm really looking forward to Palo Duro!

You know, there's nothing new about any of this. I'm just an actor playing a part that has been played countless times before. Sure, I've got my own style to it, but I find comfort in the camaraderie. There's no such thing as lonely.

non-perishable

2009-04-15T23:15:42Z

I spent a good four hours in Parr Park today, reading, exploring, visiting some of my favorite spots. It was pretty great.

There was this old bearded man riding bikes with who I assumed was his grandson. They passed me twice, the first time we exchanged smiles and hellos, and the second time they stopped. Gramps spoke:

"It's good to see someone with a book!"

"Uh, Likewise!" - I say this as a default when I'm caught off guard, even though it makes no sense. I quickly recovered with "Yeah, it's a great day to be out here, have ya'll seen the waterfall? It's really flowing"

They exchanged excited glances "We didn't know there was a waterfall in the park!"

I gave them directions and they hurried off to find it. Hope they enjoyed it as much as I did!

A thousand pikes were flashing by the rising of the moon.

2009-04-15T00:55:23Z

I went out to Fort Worth yesterday with the intention of visiting the Kimbell, Amon Carter, and Modern art museums. They're all closed on mondays, which was a bummer, and I shoulda looked that up. But shit, I was already out there by myself with a pocket full of cash - I decided to make the most of it.

I drove around aimlessly for a while and reveled in the nostalgia of it all. I used to spend a lot of time out there as a courier, and then later when we'd party at the Hurley House. Now I suppose I make it out there twice a month or so, which is satisfying, but it sucks to always experience the city from afar. Better than nothing!

I stopped for a while at the Flying Saucer where the special was 2.75 for all pints (except shit like Chimay and Mardsous). I caught an intense daytime buzz thanks to Belhaven Scottish Stout. The guy sitting next to me was a fact checker for the Star-Telegram. We talked about Somalian Pirates and vintage video game systems. I stayed there for a while, probably too long considering the potency of some of those beers. The meter ran out, and I didn't have any more change - so I took that as my cue to head out to my next stop.

After taking a pretty backwards route, I arrived at the Chat Room. No trip to Fort Worth would be complete without a stop at the best bar in North Texas. Dave was working, but I didn't recognize any of the patrons. I got a pint of 1554 and checked my internet shit. Then I spent some time outside with an issue of Fort Worth Weekly. I sipped the pint slowly, as my head was feelin pretty light. I smoked some smokes, then decided to head out. I figured some food was pretty necessary so I got a horribly greasy taco from Benito's. It was gross but I ate it anyways.

At this point I was needing some companionship. I got in touch with Ryan and we decided to meet at Cave's in Arlington. We drank. Absinthe was on special. I had two. Two too many, if you ask me. The novelty hasn't worn off I suppose (neither have the ill-effects!). I played some songs on the jukebox, and talked to the people sitting next to us at the bar. Nothing too interesting I suppose. One of them had just gotten back from a trip in Ireland, so we went through the motions talking about that. It reminded me yet again that I WILL go back next summer. Gotta make it happen.

For a change of scenery, we decided to move on to Sunshine - the bar in the parking lot of Cave's. It's a tiny place with a Mid-Cities metalhead clientele. It's pretty comfortable. I was pretty far gone, and me and Ryan started talking about feeeeelings. In case you didn't know, and I'm not sure why anyone would, I've been feeling pretty shitty lately. For reasons I won't get into. But you know, generally I feel like a jerk trying to talk to anyone about things. Ryan is the exception. So, after I was good and liquored up we had us a good conversation. He bought me a few rounds, bummed me some cigarettes, gave some good advice. That kinda thing means a lot these days.

It was getting pretty late, so we decided to head back to Bedford. But not before stopping in at Toadies for last call. Jarrell and Gunnar were there, so we sat and talked with them. I was slurring my speech pretty badly, which is actually rare for me I think. So I mostly shut up and stared into my beer. Afterwards I went home and crashed immediately. Had class at 9:30 this morning. It was tough.

I suppose to some this outing may seem pretty ridiculous. I mean, who does this kind of thing on a monday? Brad Mutherfuckin Dougher, thats who. I spent all the money I had, but that doesn't really bother me. A small price to pay for some much-needed self indulgence. The only negative thing to come from it is this hangover. Otherwise, I got some things off my chest. I had an adventure. More of that, please.

list time. Things I'm looking forward to:

Scarborough Faire
Shows in Amarillo and Lubbock
4 or 5 days in Austin!
Summertime funtime
Trip/Shows in the South, at least Birmingham
Saving money
Reading
Getting in touch with old friends

Books I'm reading:

Spanish Texas 1519-1821 - Donald E. Chipman
The Captured - A True Story of Abduction by Indians on the Texas Frontier - Scott Zesch
The Spiral of Memory and Belonging: a Celtic Path of Soul and Kinship - Frank McEowen
Invisible Monsters - Chuck Palahnuik
My Ishmael - Daniel Quinn

Cheers!

let's drink to the death of regret!

2009-04-09T08:25:31Z

I had a great night! Liberating, indeed. Long talks with best friends. Beers, and free cigarettes. It's a song of triumph, not suicide. Get out of my way, asshole!

whoshottheshot @ 2009-03-29T15:23:00

2009-03-29T20:35:06Z

Yesterday was fucked up on so many levels. I feel like shit today. I can't imagine what everyone else is going through. At least I'm no longer working, and the sun is shining. Fort Worth, here I come.

The pendulum is definitely fucked up, and I apologize for not being able to fix it.

whoshottheshot @ 2009-03-22T05:14:00

2009-03-22T10:14:22Z

damn

whoshottheshot @ 2009-03-11T05:32:00

2009-03-11T10:34:47Z

just now a stray bolt of lightning crashed right above my apartment. the resulting thunder shook the house violently. oddly enough, a dream i was having caused me to be wide awake about a minute prior to it happening!

it was like:

"TAG, YOU'RE IT!"

MARCH IS MY FAVORITE MONTH

2009-03-07T03:30:59Z

and look what's happenin this year!

I WILL TRY AND BE EVERYWHERE AT ONCE. sorry bout yer friends page.

separate ways

2009-03-02T19:26:12Z

Surprise test in sociology today!

Well, everyone else seemed to know about it. I should probably check the website more often. It was a breeze though.

Trey and Russell came into town on friday night. Greg was supposed to come, but had to fly out to SLC for his grandpa's funeral. Bum city. We went on the Arlington pub crawl and strangely enough Joey joined us. It was great. Seriously. I miss having a "crew." Since Aric's been gone, and Ryans usually with amanda, it's just me and Paul against the world.

Having those two guys in town really re-enforced the fact that I've seriously neglected all of my Austin family. In nearly a year I've only been down there once.

Shit, it's been almost a year?!

That shit has got to change.

It's hard looking back.

On saturday I played tour guide (which is pretty much my favorite thing to do) and took Trey and Russell to Tandy Hills park, River Legacy, and Grapevine Lake. We stopped to check out Lee Harvey Oswalds grave because Trey was adamant about it. We also ate at waffle house.

North Texas Adventure.

I wish they had stayed longer so I could've shown them Fort Worth proper. Maybe catch a show? Hit Denton? Next time, for sure.

Well, shit.

whoshottheshot @ 2009-02-19T17:27:00

2009-02-19T23:43:04Z

six pack. tallboys.

2009-02-13T19:08:51Z

I'm not sure why the seasons affect my musical tastes so much.

I mean, I guess they have a profound influence on everything else, so why not?

Winter generally includes lots of ambient indie music, rocknroll/oi, and classic punk.

Summer is dominated by crusty shit, hardcore, pop punk, stoner metal, 90's indie rock, and the like.

Of course country-tinged shit permeates all seasons. Same with celtic music.

I'm eagerly awaiting a summer full of traveling, house shows, sweat, cheep booze, cheap weed, left arm tans, shorts, and slackerism.

I must avoid wearing shoes without socks at ALL COSTS.

the saddest vacant lot in all the world

2009-02-09T08:47:31Z

goddamn.

goddamn.

Dualities, Dichotomies. Coincidences. Whatever it means, I hope it's good.

The sound of the eastbound train echoed through Mosier Valley tonight. The lonesome whistle. Full moon blaring and glaring through the clouds. As things slowed to cross 157, a drifter hopped off. His purpose in this place will reveal itself in time. You're on the list. We all are!

I've got concrete in my lungs. Naturally, I get a bit choked up.

In this economy I need to be cautious with my emotional investments. Unfortunately I'm used to throwing my wealth around.

Circumstances! how cleverly they align themselves!

Laissez-Faire has a new meaning this evening.

I will employ all available resources towards the destruction of permanence.

BRADLEY WILLIAM DOUGHER

no shame, boy. get up.

GOALS

2009-01-26T20:35:03Z

yeah, I've got 'em.

-all A's this semester (duh)
-album recorded by summer
-travel. anywhere, even short day trips.
-Ireland, Scotland, and Wales summer 2010
-Irish Studies program at NUI Galway summer 2011
-fuckin kick ass and take it easy

cooter store

2009-01-08T08:38:31Z

I CAN'T WAIT FOR SCHOOL TO START!!!

christ. never thought i'd say that.

Been workin out a lot. Gettin pumped. Carbo Load. Kickin it in the off season training camp of pregame protein breakfast egg farts.

Last night Ryan, Paul, and I went on a bar adventure. We decided to see what the fine city of Arlington had to offer. As it turns out, we've been missing out on some amazing establishments:

CAVE'S LOUNGE

I had heard of this place before. Apparently it's no secret, and for good reason. Total hole in the wall stand alone building in the middle of a muddy gravel parking lot. It was packed. On a Tuesday night no less. The special was 25 cent bud lights until 10, 50 cents at 11, 75 at midnight. The crowd was generic and energetic college kid/hipster, with a disproportionate amount of attractive women. We kept getting strange looks from people and I'm not sure why that was.

The place gave off a nice loungy vibe. Dark, with red lighting. Junk on the walls, weird cartoons playing on TV's. On a slower night we would have been able to score a table. No matter.

The Jukebox was remarkably solid. Popular indie rock, old classics, staple punk shit. A rare find in the Mid-Cities. We put a decent amount of money in the damned thing, but never heard our songs. Oh well.

Paul bought us some shots of whiskey and we decided to head out to our next spot.

TANSTAAFL PUB

This place is what dreams are made of. Well, my dreams anyways. It's located in an old shopping center, and apparently has been in business for over 30 years. The wood paneling on the walls was nearly completely covered in beer signs and Texas-centric decor. A ragged old Texas map hung opposite a signed Kinky Friedman campaign poster. Perfect. The place was pretty empty, aside from the owner and some people throwing darts. The tables and chairs were straight from the 70's, surplus from some VFW hall or something. The Jukebox had a decent selection. Mostly classic rock though. Ryan played some Skynyrd, we drank a $5 dollar pitcher of budweiser, and thought it wise to move on.

I really liked this place though. Will be back. Friendly folk in a back-to basics watering hole is all I'm after. TAANSTAFL delivers.

Oh, and in case you were wondering what the hell TANSTAAFL is...check it out

OZZIE RABBIT LOUNGE

Ozzie Rabbit Lounge is located pretty far down Division Street near 820. I suppose that had an impact on the crowd, which was similar to the one found at TANSTAAFL. We were under the impression that Ozzie Rabbit is owned by the same people that own Cave's. They do a drunkbus/pub crawl around Arlington that starts at Cave's and ends at Ozzie's. The decor, vibe, and jukebox were all strikingly similar. I liked this place more though. Same black and red lighting, more Texan atmosphere. More laid back. They even had an awesome mural of Jack Ruby getting arrested. At this point I was pretty trashed, but we kept drinking anyways. $2 domestic pints. We played some songs and drank until last call.

Considering these three bars are all awesome, and not too far from me, I think its safe to say I'll be back soon. I am still shocked at the fact that three great establishments went under my radar for so long. Division Street is awesome. I'll be back soon.

Who's with me?

sorry entertainer

2008-12-29T08:18:23Z

I went to Toadie's at 1:30 for a nightcap - a sudden death decision. AREN'T THEY ALL.

The last song of the night was "don't stop believing." It drew the late-night drunks into an (anti)rousing singalong. Well, all except for me.

I pretend to hate that song. Gotta keep up the appearance.

I do appreciate such happenings though. I love observing life and culture.

...............

Big plans this week. Even bigger the next.

For tonight, we drink!

As restless and wandering souls, we work hard at constructing our own cages. It's a matter of survival.

slim creeper/snuggle rapist

2008-12-27T10:06:20Z

Drunken Holidays. Good Holidays. The Grapevine family is thriving,. We're together. Christmastime, feelin' fine, everyone's drinking. I have enjoyed this season more than ever. I love my family and my friends. I love this town, I love these people, I love living. Here's to 2009! A year that will bring great things for us all.

Congratulations, Michael. I was rooting for you from the beginning. Where'd you go, and why?

the belgae

2008-12-17T17:17:48Z

Last night I finished the last little bit of my whiskey while sitting next to the fire. In the dark. Listening to the Chieftains. Yeah, I've got class.

It's been fucking freezing in my apartment, but I piled the blankets up real high. My bed is pretty awesome, even though it's empty.

Can I bum a smoke?

DRINK TO OBLIVION

2008-12-15T22:50:07Z

Larry and His Flask from Oregon played in Grapevine last night. A bunch of people didn't show up that should've. The band was amazing. Rocked the shit out of the Kendall backyard. They were gonna stay another night here but decided to move on to Oklahoma. I enjoyed their company. Wish they were around all the time.

Now I'm doin dishes, drinkin beer, wondering what the fuck I ever did to piss anybody off. Completely unrelated to the posi-vibe from Oregon. Seriously. Every time something good happens, some(one)body has to bring it down. WHY?

I'm on a quest for genuine people, genuine friends. I need no bullshit. Where the fuck am I?

I'm harmless. Realize it.

Is the camo can a metaphor for life?

Let's hang out, you could use some neutrality.

DFW

2008-12-14T01:24:52Z

too much goin on tonight!

Party in Lake Dallas
Nouns Group at the Chatroom
Teenage Cool Kids/The Wax Museums at 715 Panhandle
Whiskey Folk Ramblers at the Double Wide
The Drams/Dove Hunter at Hailey's

maybe I won't do ANYTHING.